My Story
“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart. Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.” ~ Rumi
I’ve been an artist in one form or another my whole life. From decorating and coloring old shoe boxes found in the house as a child, to sketching on random paper when feeling bored, and luckily finding my way to expressing myself through abstract painting in 2013.
I’ve always had an innate desire to create and express myself somehow.
After living and moving between different countries, in 2019, I decided to move to London and made it my home. Life in a big city wasn’t easy at the beginning and pursuing my career as a lighting designer was all that seemed to matter at the time. Painting was just a hobby, a way to spark my creativity in stolen moments. It was something I thought I would finally have proper time and space for when I retired.
“Is this all? Is this how we are meant to live?” Sometimes a voice was whispering.
Then the pandemic arrived and I had the space and time to go inward. Lockdown, together with the feeling of discomfort and disruption, brought a new awareness within me. I was able to rethink of how I could work and live in a more sustainable way, even though I live in a metropolis.
During those times, I found community by co-creating Meraki mindful painting, which brought people together through online painting sessions. Meraki’s mission is to spread knowledge in how to use painting as a tool for self-expression. It felt like a revolutionary thing to do. Prior to this time, I never thought something like that would have ever been possible. Reconnecting with the beauty of painting and building a community gave me a sense of satisfaction and purpose during challenging times. I had never felt so connected to myself and my creative practice.
I felt at ease and peaceful, and by occasionally sharing some of my work online I also made my first art sales! Engaging and putting my heart into these projects, and witnessing how my creative work was becoming a vehicle for change in myself and others started to initiate something within me.
“Is painting a tool to overcome hard moments in life?”
“Can I help people through painting and creativity?”
“Can I just leave my design job and pursue my creative dream?”
“Can I make a living with my art?”
Other voices started to whisper.
In the meantime, I met my partner and moved in with his (now almost 8 yrs old!) son into a beautiful place I can now call home. Becoming a step-parent was a huge, wonderful, and challenging change in my life that brought a new whirlwind of responsibility and questioning. Suddenly I had new needs, new priorities, new desires, and new fears.
When Covid started to ease, life came “back to normal,” but my normal was incredibly different than the “pre-Covid normal.” It felt like too much was happening in my life to create space for my creative work and paintings. For a while I had this idea that this change was just a transition and that the “old version” of me would eventually re-emerge.
“But who was the old me?” Emotional outbursts and existential crisis!
I looked for answers everywhere. I read books and listened to podcasts about self-development, health, creativity, and mindfulness. I went deep into teachings and theories about the creative process. But these discoveries happened to stay just at a theoretical level, without prompting me to figure out more about how to actually embody them.
Nothing was really happening. But deep down I felt that something was starting to shift, on the inside, and that this change needed to involve different aspects of my life. I started to question myself a lot. And as much as it was worth it, it was not easy working through all that was swirling through my head.
I waited.
I was overwhelmed by all my different roles as well as all the commitments and responsibilities that came with them. I struggled a lot and often felt distressed by my internal dialogue, critical thoughts, and judgements. I was deeply locked in my own fear (and idea) of failure. My quest for rest and slowing down brought me to avoid moving towards what I really wanted. The fear of burning out was bigger than ever, bigger than pursuing my dreams.
I found myself stalled, blocked, and dismayed. As a result, I took long breaks from making my art and exploring my creativity. But not doing creative work was absolutely not the solution.
It came to a point when I realized I needed to get help, and I reached for the right support.
Things shifted significantly in my life and work when I committed to exploring my artist self and creative identity through a structured coaching journey. I was supported by a coach and therapeutic practitioner, by readings and research, and a personal accountability to moving towards my heart's work.
Through intentional and conscious engagement in learning on how to connect with myself and my creative potential, I worked to reignite my creative spark. I rediscovered the joy in committing to my creativity.
I found new, smoother ways to forward. Creativity became more than “just” painting and drawing, it became about expressing myself, training my ability to discover new ideas, and challenge the status quo.
It is while committing to this work that Createspace Coaching and Art was starting to seed. I learned key solution focused tools and practices that we can build within ourselves and tap into to feel more embodied and confident in our creative selves.
It is through this experience that I realized that my mission is to help creatives, artists, changemakers, and anyone interested in mindful artmaking to reclaim their creativity and embody their heart's work in a sustainable and joyful way.
And if you read until here you might be one of them.
If you are curious and want to better understand yourself, embody the creative process, and learn how to truly self-express, I would love to help you get there.
